I love it when weeks start out regular, and then suddenly get interrupted with a spontaneous adventure. Monday, I am grocery shopping and vacuuming my house. And Thursday, I’m on a plane to Dubai. Woot!
So, by Friday, and after 19 hours of somewhat uncomfortable travel and 15 episodes of Homeland (not the best show to watch on your way to the Middle East, BTW), I arrive in Dubai, and head straight for customs.
That’s when it happens.
The scary looking man sitting behind the security camera screen thingy looks at me, then back at the screen, and then back at me, and says, “Do you have a drug addiction?”
“Is the needle in your bag for your drug problem?
That’s when my heart rate raises to a near-death level, I crap my pants, and think to myself, “Oh. Shit. I’ve seen Brokedown Palace, and I am a much prettier, but slightly fatter Claire Danes, and they are not messing around here. Someone planted something in my bag, and I am going to get arrested, and hauled off to rot in prison for the rest of my life, never to see my family ever again.”
Scary Dude opens my bag, pulls the “needle” out, and to my relief, it’s my EpiPen, and not something planted for the use of crack, or heroin, or whatever drugs you use with needles (seriously, I would be the worst druggie ever).
“Oh! That’s my EpiPen. You know, so I don’t die if I get stung by a bee.”
“Bee?” Looking puzzled. “Wait, are you in the military?”
“Military? Do you think they would let someone like me in the military?” Pointing to my chubby parts. “It’s for a bee sting.” Buzzing and flapping my arms enthusiastically.
Finally, my Oscar award winning charade skills pay off, and he gets it, or perhaps he just gets sick of me buzzing around, and let’s me pass through to get rid of me. Either way, I got to enjoy a magical Dubai adventure, and it was awesome. More to come!